Seven Reminders for Beginners

This is modified from a conversation I had with a friend. By "beginners," I mean those who have begun to realize that we are more than just our bodies and have embarked on a journey to discover who we are and why we are here. These reminders are for those of us who sense that something is not quite right in the world and feel the desire to change it. I consider myself a beginner.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step—but at the start, it can be difficult to move forward with confidence. It often seems that just as we try to elevate ourselves, something in the daily grind pulls us back down. I want to share these reminders because I have found them incredibly useful, and I hope they will be helpful to others as well.

I call them reminders because these practices (if you can call them that) are probably not new to us, yet carrying them out consistently and continuously can be challenging. It is easy to slip back into old habits. So, do not fret—be mindful, remember these seven points, and carry on... :-)

1. Let Go of Judgment

Do not judge yourself or others—but how?

Take things as they are without assigning judgment. For example, you might notice, "I do not like loud people." That is simply a description of your personal state. However, if you say, "Loud people are obnoxious" (rather than "Loud people are obnoxious to me"), you are passing judgment. No one is inherently defined by the judgments we place upon them; they only appear that way to us under certain circumstances. Therefore, it is useful to be mindful of what we feel and to understand why we feel a certain way, without categorizing ourselves or others based on those feelings.

Another example: Suppose there is a book that many people find life-changing, and they praise it highly. You read it, but it does nothing for you. We are so conditioned to immediately assign judgment—"There must be something wrong with me!" (or the opposite, "This book is overrated."). But instead of judging, simply acknowledge the fact: "This book does not resonate with me." If you notice an undesirable thought or action within yourself, recognize it, stop it, but do so without passing judgment on yourself for having thought or acted that way in the first place.

Nothing is one-size-fits-all. If something works for everyone but not for you, it simply means it is not for you. There is no point in judging yourself or others over it. (If you want it to work for you, you can ask, seek, or learn—but that is another topic.)

Letting go of judgment is not something we are typically taught, so changing this habit can be difficult at first. However, if you can stop judging yourself, it becomes much easier to stop judging others as well.

2. Let Go of Fear (and Worry)

This is about reclaiming our free will. If you understand that all is mind and that our experiences are often the direct result of our thoughts, then you can see how fear and worry can give permission to the very things we wish to avoid. When we fear something, we acknowledge it as a real possibility, which gives it power over us. However, fear is unnecessary once we recognize that we are not here to suffer, to be punished, or to redeem our sins. We are here to learn, and learning is not meant to be fearful.

I like the quote: "Danger is real, but fear is a choice." It is important to recognize danger, but that does not mean we must respond with fear. For example, if winter is approaching and firewood is your only source of heat, you must recognize the danger of not having enough firewood. But recognizing danger does not require fear—it requires action. The universe may not magically provide firewood without any effort on your part (perhaps because the act of gathering firewood solidifies your intention and desire for warmth). So, take action to collect firewood without anxious thoughts like, "Will I have enough time to gather what I need?" or "What if I can’t find enough?" or "What if the winter is extremely cold?" Instead, trust that your efforts will yield just the right amount for you to stay warm. (If you’d like to experiment, try applying this mindset to something you usually worry about 😉).

A friend once asked me a question that highlights an important point:

"Even when I know not to fear or worry, I still find myself considering worst-case scenarios. Then I think I’ve just allowed something bad to happen, which makes me judge myself, feel more fear, and spiral into even more negative thoughts…"

Here’s what I understand: This is why mindfulness is essential. Fear and worry only have the power to manifest what we fear if we are unaware that we are doing it. The moment we recognize our thoughts as fear-based, we consciously state them as something we do not want. Worrying about the fact that you had a fearful thought can actually negate the power of recognizing it.

So, how do we break free from these tedious negative thought cycles? From what I’ve read, the key is not to suppress, hide, or deny them. Instead, accept them. The mind is curious—it wants to explore and experience. Bring your thoughts fully into awareness, allow yourself to process them, and once your mind has satisfied its curiosity, those thoughts will naturally fade away.

Here’s a quote from a yogi that beautifully expresses this idea:

"Whatever you experience, you acknowledge and use in the process of realization, rather than avoiding it through control and restraint. This approach is of fundamental importance in Tantra – in its practices, rituals and meditations. It is not a question of taking severe measures, but of being aware and present in what is anyway done, thought and experienced. In a devoted and yet neutral way you let happen what happens, without reacting or struggling against it – and without giving up or letting yourself be overwhelmed by or dependent upon anything."

The key takeaway? When facing anything in life, choose acceptance over control. (This is quite the opposite of what we’ve been taught, which is why it can be challenging at first.)

To summarize: Be mindful of your thoughts. Recognize fear-based ones and deny the fearful outcome, but do not fear negative thoughts themselves. Allow yourself to experience them—both in your mind and, perhaps, even in reality.

3. Forgive (Yourself and Others)

Most of us understand the importance of forgiveness. Love and forgiveness are what elevate us to higher vibrations. When it comes to self-forgiveness, I see it as closely tied to letting go of judgment. If we stop judging ourselves and others, forgiveness becomes easier—because, ultimately, there is nothing to forgive.

4. Give Thanksgiving

It is essential to appreciate what you have and be grateful for each moment. I have always naturally felt gratitude for the things in my life, even before I believed in a higher power. I can't fully explain why it is important—I just know that it is.

Here’s how I see it: We are surrounded by friends in higher places who want to help us. However, just as we cannot see them, they may not always know whether their efforts to assist us are effective. Their only form of feedback comes through our gratitude—our appreciation for the outcomes created with their help. Acknowledging and giving thanks for a desired result acts as positive feedback, reinforcing our connection and strengthening our will.

5. Live in the Moment (in the Now)

What does it mean? I initially had a hard time understanding this concept. It's easier to grasp why we shouldn't dwell in the past—whether it's past glory or mistakes—but what about planning for the future? We can plan for the future without living in trepidation about it.

This idea is closely related to letting go of fear. In the present moment, there is nothing to fear—only actions to take and decisions to make. Fear and worry are about what might happen in the future.

To connect this with the firewood example: when you have time to gather firewood, ask yourself, "Do I need more firewood?" If the answer is yes, then ask, "Can I gather some now?" If yes, then gather it. If no, check on it later. That's all.

By living in the moment in this way, your desired outcome will naturally unfold. There is no reason to fear or worry about what’s to come.

6. "No Mistakes"

There are no mistakes, only lessons. This is easier to understand if we know why we are here: to experience and to learn. We are here to learn not because we are lacking, but because we seek enriching experiences.

I interpret "no mistakes" as follows: Once you set your goal, you will reach it. Even if you take a wrong turn somewhere, it may just lead you down a longer, scenic route—but you will still get there. So, there are no mistakes. We can move forward simply by setting our goals.

My friend pointed out that "no mistakes" is a shortened version of points #1 and #2: If there are no mistakes, then there is no need for judgment, and no need for fear or worry.

7. Believe in and Trust Yourself

This is one of the hardest things to do. We grow up in a world where we are judged from birth and conditioned—implicitly or explicitly—to believe we are what others say we are. Seeing things as they truly are through the practice of #1-6 may help remove these false images of ourselves. I also hope that understanding our true nature will help: we are extensions of the universe, fragments of the ALL, consciousness experiencing itself.

You can think of us as children of the divine—which means we, too, are divine. What many call God in religion is simply the highest form we can evolve into (though perhaps not in this lifetime). This is what is meant by the saying "God is within each of us."

In this 3D physical world, it’s easy to feel insignificant. Undoing years of conditioning from childhood is difficult, and I don’t expect anyone to suddenly become fully self-confident overnight. But you can start by simply setting the intention to become so. Of course, the yourself we speak of here is not the ego self, which are mistaken by many as the self -- this is a important topic for another day.

Reduce the influence of the ego self by following your heart, no matter what external pressures try to tell you otherwise. Pay attention to your heart. You know when something didn’t feel right to you -- trust yourself intuition. We have all done this at some point in overcoming obstacles in life, but trusting yourself shouldn’t be something you turn to only in difficult times—make it a habit.

Believing in yourself doesn’t mean clinging to old beliefs. As you learn and grow, your views will evolve. To believe in yourself means to trust the decisions you make in each moment and to know that whatever you truly want to do, you can do—though perhaps not in the way you originally envisioned. Trusting yourself can be frightening at times, but remember: no fear, no judgment, no mistakes! 

Realize that while we all come from the same source, each of us is also a unique individual. Each of us has our own path. Therefore, do not believe what I say if it doesn’t feel right to you, no matter how good my intentions are. My path may be the path of least resistance for me, but not for you. I believe everyone should follow their own path of least resistance—because that is how nature works.

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This is something I didn't discuss with my friend, so it is extra. I see all seven reminders lead to something perhaps even more important:

Love Yourself (and Others—for You Can't Love One Without the Other)

Loving yourself does not mean being narcissistic or believing you are above others. It means recognizing that each of us is a shining star with our own unique spectrum. This recognition comes from within—it does not need to be validated by outside influences, not by accolades from peers, nor by acknowledgment from society. I believe that when we finally see ourselves without distortion, it becomes impossible not to love ourselves.

For many, including myself, it feels easier to love others than to love ourselves. But we cannot truly love others without loving ourselves. If we cannot embrace ourselves—flaws and imperfections included—then we cannot fully extend that Love to others. To love all beings unconditionally, isn’t that what we are ultimately striving for? 😉

Loving oneself may seem difficult at times, but I believe that if we fully understand and practice the seven reminders, this final step will come naturally.

Last but not least, I see these seven practices as means, not ends. They serve to help us gain a steady footing on our journey. And if you are unsure of what that journey is, trust that you will find out in time. The road may be long, but it is not meant to be miserable—it can be full of magical wonders, if only we allow it to be and learn how to embrace them. 😊