Friday, 15 November 2013

Seven Reminders for Beginners

This is modified from a conversation I had with a friend. By beginners, I mean those who started to realize that we are more than our body and embarked on a journey to find who we are and why we are here. The reminders are for to those of us who find that something is not quite right in the world and desire to change it. I consider myself a beginner.

Journey of thousand miles starts with a single step -- but in the beginning, it is difficult to move forward with confidence.  It seems when we want to raise ourselves higher, there's always something in the daily grind tries to pull us down. I want to share this because I found these reminders very useful to me, and I wish it would be helpful to others as well.  I call them reminders because these practices (if you can call them that) are probably not new to us, but it is hard to carry them out consistently and constantly -- yet it is something important to do -- it is easy for us to fall back to the old habits.  So do no fret, be mindful, remember the 7 points and carry on... :-)

1.  Let go judgement
Do not judge oneself or others, but how?

Take things as they are without assigning a judgement.  For example, you notice that "I do not like loud people"-- that's just a description of the state you are.  But when you say "loud people are obnoxious" (not "loud people are obnoxious to me"), you are passing judgement.  No one are inherently of the judgement we pass to them, they only appear to us that way under certain circumstances.  So it is useful to be mindful of what we feel, and learn why we feel certain ways, but not categorize other/self based on our feelings.

Another example: suppose there is a book that's life changing for many people -- many people praise it.  You read it and it did nothing to you.  We are so used to immediately assign judgement: "there must be something wrong with me!" (or something just the opposite). But no: take note of any undesirable actions/thoughts by you, simply stop it, but without passing judgement on yourself for acting/thinking this way in the first place. There is nothing that's one-size-fits-all, if something works for everybody but you, that means that something is not for you.  There is no point judging your or others for it.  (If you want that something work for you, you can ask/seek/learn -- that's another topic.)   Not judging is not what we are taught to do, so it can be hard to change the habit initially.  

If you can give up the habit of judging self, then it is easier to stop judging others as well.  

2. Let go fear (and worry)
This has to do with taking back our free will.  If you understand all is mind, and what we experience are often the direct result of our thoughts.  When we fear and worry about something, we actually allowing this something that we don't desire to happen by believing it can happen.  It's easier to abandon fear if you understand there is truly nothing to fear: you are not here to suffer, to be punished, to redeem your sins.  You are here to learn, and learning is not supposed to be fearful.

I like the quote "danger is real, but fear is a choice". It is important to recognize danger, but it needs not lead to fear.  For example, the winter is coming, if firewood is your only source of heating, you need to recognize the danger of not getting enough firewood. Recognizing danger needs not lead to fear, but action. The universe may not provide firewood for you without any action on your part (I think it is because the action of collecting firewood solidifies your will of desiring firewood). Take the action of gathering firewood without the fearful thoughts like: "will I have time to gather enough woods?" "what if I can't find enough wood?", "what if the winter is extremely cold?", etc.  Knowing that you give your effort to gather wood, whatever you will find will be just the right amount for you to stay warm in the winter (if you want to be my guinea pig, try apply this to something you usually worry ;).  

My friend asked this question which brings up something important:
Even when you know not to fear/worry, you find yourself considering some worse case scenario anyhow.  Then you think you just allowed something bad to happen, which brings more judgement and fear upon yourself...  and you can't help but thinking about more negative outcomes...

Here's what I understand -- this why we need to be mindful: fear and worry only have the power to allow what's being feared to happen if you do not realize that's what you are doing.  Once you realize your thoughts are fears, you are essentially consciously stating it as something you do not want.  Fearing that recognized fear can bring it into reality will negate the function of the recognition.  (:-p what a tongue twister)

How to get rid of such tedious negative thoughts though?  From what I read, to remove negative/undesirable thoughts/emotions, do not try to control them by hiding them, denying them; instead, accept them.  The mind is a curious thing, it wants to experience.  Bring out the thoughts fully in your mind.  Once you satisfied your mind's curiosity, that thought will not be brought up again.  Here's a quote from a yogi:

"Whatever you experience, you acknowledge and use in the process of realization, rather than avoiding it through control and restraint. This approach is of fundamental importance in Tantra – in its practices, rituals and meditations. It is not a question of taking severe measures, but of being aware and present in what is anyway done, thought and experienced. In a devoted and yet neutral way you let happen what happens, without reacting or struggling against it – and without giving up or letting yourself be overwhelmed by or dependent upon anything."

I think the important point to take away is that when dealing with anything in life, choose the method that's characterized by acceptance rather than control.  (this is also quite contrary to what we've been taught, thus is hard to do initially) 

To summarize: be mindful of your thoughts; recognizing those that are fears and deny the fearful outcome; but do not fear negative thoughts, allow yourself to experience them in your mind, and maybe even in reality.  

3. Forgive (self and others)
I think we are most familiar with this and understand the need to forgive.  Love and forgiveness are what can bring us up to higher vibrations.  In the context of self, I see forgiveness go hand in hand with no judgement.  If we stop judging, then it's easier to forgive, for there is nothing to forgive.  

4. Give thanksgiving
It's very important to be appreciative of what you have, be grateful for each moment.  I naturally feel grateful for things in my life, even when I didn't believe in a higher power.  I can't explain why it is important other than I know it is.  I figure this is how it works: we are surrounded by friends in higher places who want to help us.  But just as we cannot see them, they do not always know if their effort to help us is effective.  Their only way of feedback from us is through thanksgiving, the appreciation of the outcomes created through their assistance. Acknowledgement/thankfulness for a desired result acts as positive feedback and can strengthen our will further.

5. Live in the moment (in the now)
What does it mean?  I had a hard time understand this one. It is easier to relate why we should not live in the past, not to wallow in our past glory or mistakes, but what about planning for the future? We can plan for the future without live in the trepidation of it. It's related closely with abandoning fear -- when it is in the now, there is nothing to fear, only things to do and decisions to be made, for fear and worry is all about what will happen in the future. To extend this understanding to the firewood example: when you have time to collect firewood, consider "do I need more firewood?" if yes, ask "can I get some now?" if yes -- get some. If no, check on it later -- that is all. Knowing that by living in the moment like this, then your desired outcome will be there. There is no reason to fear and worry about what to come. 
6. "No mistakes"
There is no mistakes, only lessons. It's easier to understand this if we know why we are here: to experience, to learn. We are here to learn not because we are lacking, we want to learn because we want more enriching experiences. I understand "no mistakes" as this: once you set your goal, you will get there: even if you take a wrong term somewhere, it may just lead you to a windier scenic route, but you will get there -- so there is no mistakes. We can move forward by simply setting goals. My friend pointed out how "no mistakes" is a shortened version of #1 and #2: if there is no mistake, then there is no need for judgement, and there is no need for fear and worry. 

7. Believe in/trust yourself
This is a hard part. We grew up in a world that we were judged from birth and were made to believe we are what we are implicitly or explicitly judged. Seeing things as they are through the practice of #1-6 maybe one of the ways to remove the false images of ourselves. I hope understanding our true nature will help too: we are but extensions of the universe, fragments of the ALL that's consciousness experiencing itself. You can view us as children of the divine, that mean we are divine. What is called God in religion is but the highest form that we can develop into (even though probably not in this life time).  That's what the saying that "God is in each one of us" meant. I know in this 3D physical world, we feel insignificant. It's hard to undo what we've been conditioned to believe since our childhood. I don't expect anyone to suddenly become self confident, but you can start by setting to desire to become so.  :)

Realize that we are all from one source, yet we are also each an unique individual.  We are all here to learn, but we each have our own path. You have good intuitions, you knew when something didn't sound right to you -- trust yourself, follow what your heart tells you regardless what outside pressure tells you. We probably have all done this in overcoming some obstacles in life, but it needs not to be applied only when the going gets tough, learn to make it as a habit. :-) Of course, to trust yourself, you also need a clear understanding of who you really are -- I guess that's a topic for another day also.

Believe in yourself doesn't mean that you have to hold on to something you believed.  As you learn, you will change and your views will evolve. Believe in yourself means trust the decision you make in each moment, and knowing whatever you want to do, you can do it (! but you may not achieve it in a way you have currently envisioned).  (Believe in yourself is hard to do sometimes because it's frightening, so remember: no fear, no judgement, and no mistakes! :-)

Do not believe me if it doesn't feel right to you, regardless how good my intentions are.  I have my path, which may be just the path of least resistance for me, but not for you. I believe everyone shall follow their own path of least resistance because that's how nature works.

I didn't discuss #8 with my friend in our conversation, but I see all seven reminders lead to something perhaps even more important:

8. Love Yourself (and others -- for you can't love one without the other)
Love oneself does not mean to be narcissistic, nor to believe that oneself is above others, but to recognize that we are each a shinning stars with our own unique spectrum. This recognition comes from within, it does not need to be supported by any outside influence, not by accolade from peers, not by acknowledgement from society. I think when we finally have the undistorted view of ourselves, it's impossible not to love. 

For many whom I identify with, I know it's easier for us to love others than loving ourselves. But we cannot truly love others without love ourselves first -- If one cannot love oneself despite all the flaws and imperfections, then one cannot love others fullyTo extend our love to all, that universal unconditional love, isn't that what we are aiming for? ;)

To love oneself seems hard to do sometimes, but I think if one can fully understand and practice the 7 reminders, #8 would come naturally.

Last but not least, I see these 7 practices as means, not ends.  Even #8 is not the end. They are means to help us gain a sure footing in our journey. If you are not sure what the journey is, you will find out. The journey may be long, but it's not meant to be miserable, and it will be full of magical wonders if we will it and learn how. :-)

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Remembering 9/11

For the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I planned to make a video, a video to memorialize the event.  I wanted to make this video ever since the first 9/11 anniversary, but I lacked the tools to do it.  But for the 10th, I was ready: I secure the software, I even wrote a storyboard earlier in the year:

I was set to make the video by 9/11, put it out on YouTube.  I thought it may even go viral, for I felt there must be many people who felt like me and find it resonant.  The video would be my defiant statement to those who perpetrated the 9/11 atrocity and got away with it.

And then, bin Laden was killed mid year.  I was over joyed, I felt like celebrating with those people in New York.  Yes, I believed that he and al-Qaeda were responsible for 9/11. I remember hearing people questioning why he was not brought back and tried, and thinking: he himself admitted to master mind the attack, what's the point of wasting money and time on a trial?  good riddens to him.  I felt justice had been served and was not so motivated to make the video anymore.  I didn't.

What a difference a year makes! After my awakening I realized those who perpetrated 9/11 were still at large. I saw the 2nd plane struck the tower on TV as it happened. To me, NYC is the symbol of resilience for the country, all the time while the towers were burning I believed all would be under control in time and orders restored.  I couldn't believe my eyes when the towers fell. It turned out I was right after all.  The towers wouldn't have fallen by the plane strike alone...I was fooled. On the personal level, I felt that bin Laden was killed earlier '11 just to prevent me from making that video, a video that probably would rally some strong desires in people.

Will I still make that video one day? It seems that as I learn more about truth in life, I would be less attracted to the dualism, combativeness, and anger expressed in the video. On the other hand, I may just make it one day when inspiration strikes.

But I do have a secret wish: I wish one day that I will see the twin towers back again, in the same place, in their full glory, as they were and always will be -- maybe just for one day.  If what I was told were true, that thoughts could build a pyramid out of thin air and move mountains, it'd be a cinch to get the twin towers back.  Yeah, that's the 9/11 memorial I'd truly want to see one day.  :-) 

Thursday, 1 August 2013

A Function of Mindful Meditation

Recently, I got to recount to a friend the 7 helpful things I found important to be reminded daily on this journey that I have started not long ago, they are:
1. No judgement
2. No fear
3. Live in the moment
4. Forgive
5. Gratitude
6. "No mistakes"
7. Believe in oneself

As I was explaining to my friend what each of them mean, I realized that all of them are interdependent and supporting of each others; and more importantly, that for me the practice of mindful meditation at this stage is an exercise of applying these seven reminders in daily life.

In mindful meditation, we are told to focus our mind only on our breath and let go other thoughts. When we find our mind wondering off with thoughts, simply notice it and bring it back to the breath, gently and without judgement. Regardless of how well we are in carrying out these instructions, as long as we do it (meditation), it is considered a success; and at the end of the session we give thanks to ourselves and others for the opportunity to meditate.

So for a beginner, each meditating session usually goes like this: you start off with focus on the breadth, then you find the sitting uncomfortable which draws away your attention -- you may struggle with this throughout the session; you find your mind wondering off with other thoughts and had to bring it back; you find yourself falling asleep; you hear noises that draws your attention away; you find yourself getting irritated at not being able to focus for long; etc. etc.  Some days you are better at it, some days not.  You don't feel any immediate benefit, you think this must be just another failed attempt.  But your instructor tells you keep on going, you are doing fine as long as you continue -- but how could it be?

Here's what I realized: to meditate as instructed above and to be able to continue the practice despite all the "failures" mentioned above, one must put the seven points mentioned above in action.

What's better way to pass "no judgement" than in face of "failure"? When you do not judge your session to be a failure, but as what it is, when you don't have fear of never going to do it "right" -- you continue.  Continue focusing on the breadth, which is a form of "living in the moment", for your mind is on each breath, in the "now".  When your mind wonders off, forgive your action instead of judging it.  As the instructor said, as long as you practice meditation, you are doing fine, so there is "no mistakes".  Only in truly knowing so you can be grateful for the opportunity to meditate, and thank yourself for making time to do so.   And last but not least, when one believes in himself, it would not be hard for him to continue meditation without giving it up due to frustration.

Mindfulness doesn't end with meditation.  "Failing" at mindful meditation as beginners gives us the opportunity to practice the 7 important things daily in order to continue.  When we can develop the habit of acting in accordance with the 7 reminders, and extend them to all parts of life -- then we will enter the first step of gaining back control of our free will.

The benefit of mindful meditation doesn't end here, but this is the first step for me.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Case Study: Manifest Desires

 -- when what's desired involves more than one person.

I had everything planned way before the trip: after return from the west coast on Tuesday, rent a car and drive down, spend a couple of days before get packed and drive back the airport then fly out.

Then a few days before heading out west, it was suggested to me that I don't have to get back right away. Suddenly I got a couple of days of free time. It's too late to change flights to return later from the west coast. I could use the opportunity to visit a couple of people nearby instead. I wanted to visit my friend L and tell her all about what I've come to understand in the past year.  It'd great to finally talk to someone about it all in person.  Moreover, I finally felt I had understood enough to give her some tips on how to avoid the stress she experiences in daily life.

So I emailed her: I can visit you on the last week of the month, just for one night, is there a good time for me to come? The reply: maybe on one of the weekends.  I sensed the email that any weekdays, which is the only time I can visit, would be extremely inconvenient.  I pretty much resigned to the fact that I wouldn't get to see her on this trip.

Then just a couple of days before heading west, I decided to give her a call anyway, not so much to work out a plan to see her, but just to say hi.  She told me why it was inconvenient: she had planned far ahead so that out of all the days in a year, for that one week to be alone and stay in her house by herself so she can have some peace and quiet and get away from it all.  And I told her why I wanted to see her: not to catch up and gossip about the daily life, but to tell her about the spiritual understandings I've come to know for the past year, understandings that I feel comfortable to speak about for certain.  Through our conversation, we realized my purpose of seeing her and her goal of getting some alone time actually aligned.

Well, everything turned out to be perfect.  There couldn't have been a better time for me to see her: since she was off work, I got to talk to her from dinner time till 2am, and talked some more the next day until after lunch.  During her regular work day, she'd have to leave to work early in the morning and we would never be able to have the conversations we had.

While we marveled at such a perfect timing, I noted that the meeting happened because we both desired it. But we didn't desire the meeting, the meeting is but the manifestation of the desire.  On my side: I desired to talk to her about what I learned and tell her things I find helpful in daily life; for her: she desired to get away from the daily grind and be more in touch with her inner self, finding deeper understanding in her spiritual pursuit.  Our desires compliment each other and the universe arranged the perfect opportunity for the meeting to happen.

But the meeting almost didn't happen, and I think this is where I can learn a lot by examining why.  I always have a good intuition about people, about how they feel.  And I know this has done me a disservice -- for when I felt people being uncomfortable, I hesitate or feel very uncomfortable to push for my agenda.  But in this case, had I not push for my agenda and call her, something both of us desired would not have happened.

I think I need to realize that sometimes my agenda is also in the best interest of the other party, but it may not be obvious for the other party to see it right away.  In that case the right thing is do is to push for my agenda despite the discomfort I feel from the other party.  I plan to apply what I learned here when I see fit in the future, start with doing a bit more information exchange with the other party, just like in this case, and see if such perfect opportunity will come by more and more.  :-)

Thursday, 18 July 2013

A New Phase

I consider myself having been two phases so far:

I.  Recognition/awareness

Noticing synchronicities and finding deeper meaning in ordinary occurrences.

II.  Abandoning Fear

Discussed here.

And now I think I'm entering the third one

III.  Creating Realities :-)

As I am progressing further, it doesn't mean I finished a previous phase and no longer need it.  I find myself also practicing previous phases at ever higher levels.  Learning never ceases! :-)

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

My Latest View on Meditation

A month ago I wrote about my thoughts on the function of meditation, now I have come to a completely different understanding.

Now I view meditation as a form of mental exercise.  It's the training of the ability we often don't realize we have, the power of our Will - our free will.  I came to this understanding after reading the Kybalion by Three Initiates, an explanation of the ancient Hermetic teachings.  I have come across many principles mentioned in the book from other sources and teachings, but the Principle of Gender I was not familiar with.  It was especially enlightening for me to read the Chapter on Mental Gender.

I have heard the concept of two parts of the mind before, such as the conscious and subconscious mind.  I also read antidotes about mind observing the mind, such as in lucid dreams where one observe himself dreaming (Richard Feynman wrote about it in one of his books).  But after learning about the "me" and "I" mind -- the creating and directing mind -- from Kybalion, I realized I never quite felt these two entities of mind in myself.  Even though I do hold debates in my mind, I always felt quite together.  I always felt there's just one mind directing my actions.  But now I come to know the two minds concept, I'm more aware of the two minds in action.

This bring me to the new understanding of meditation.  As mentioned in the Kybalion, the "I" mind is so rarely used by many, it's often not used at all.  Instead, most of us just let our "me" mind be influenced by outside sources, like prairie grass swinging with the wind.  Thus meditation -- such as mindful meditation, zazen, etc. practiced by monks and alike -- is an excise of the "I" mind.  "I" mind is the generator of the will, the director.  In meditation the "I" mind wills the "me" mind to stop its usually chaotic ways and just pay attention to the breath instead.  The stronger the "I" mind gets in directing its will to the "me" mind, the longer we will be able to keep our attention on the breath.

This is why the instructor is right in saying that if your mind wonders, simply bring it back -- this is not a failure in meditation, this is part of the meditation.  To be aware of the straying of the attention and bringing the attention back is an exercise of the two minds at work.  The "I" mind noticing that the "me" mind not following its direction, and through will bringing it back to the attention to breath.  Having done this repeatedly is like pumping iron, it will strengthen the "muscle" of "I", exactly what the meditation is supposed to provide.

So as mentioned in the previous post on meditation, where I was not distracted by the outside noise, it simply showed that my "I" mind is strong enough to tell my "me" mind not to pay attention to the noise, and the "me" mind followed the will, while others were not so successful in letting the "I" mind direct the "me" mind.

Now I'm not sure if meditation has the effect of elevating one's vibration at all.  My previous analogy about tuning to the radio signal may be completely wrong (or it still could be correct upon further consideration).  Meditation will help us reach higher vibrations, but not through the act of meditation in itself, but through the strengthening of Will (of the "I" mind).  For once we master the use of our Will, what we desire, e.g. reaching higher vibrations, will come to fruition.

This understanding also makes sense of the cryptic statement from the "Zen Mind, Beginning's Mind" book (haven't found the exact quote): if you meditate to attain enlightenment, you will not get enlightenment; if you want to reach enlightenment, you must meditate.  Meditation is not a path to enlightenment in itself, but it can provide the tools and skill for us to reach enlightenment.  :-)

Sunday, 5 May 2013

How I saved the Hubble

A few years ago, there were serious talks about dumping the Hubble telescope since it's too old and too costly to maintain.  I was not happy to hear the news.  Knowing how valuable the Hubble was to many scientists, I felt especially bad since I knew many people's careers and research depended on it.  So when the then NASA chief Sean O'Keefe came to give the graduation speech at NPS, I decided to used this opportunity to express how I felt.

At the reception afterwards, I went to shake O'Keefe's hand and said to him "please save the Hubble."  He smiled back at me and said "we are working on it."

And... well, I didn't follow closely on what happened later, all I know is that the Hubble is still working today :-).   Later I jokingly said to a friend that as far as I'm concerned, I saved the Hubble.  Now I realized that statement could be more true than I ever imagined.

I liked O'Keefe, I guess that's why I followed his whereabouts even after he left NASA.  So it brought me great shock and sadness when I heard the news that he and his son was nearly killed in a plane crash in 2010.  Now after becoming aware that everything happen for a reason, I'm sure both the dark side and the light side were involved in the incident  -- I'm just not sure which side was responsible for which...

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Thoughts on the Marathon Bombing -- An Update

"He sees opposition as a signpost deflecting him in the right direction"  -- I Ching

After a night of sleep, I decide to rewrite the post with above title.  Ah, nothing a good night of sleep cannot heal, it brings clarity.  Now let me reconsider everything again following thoughts I believe to be more in line with the Law of One.  

In my previous post, I noticed a common theme (i.e. running) of the Boston marathon bombing with my recently blog on my 10K race; and recall a similar sequence of events where a day after I commented on the random shooting at a Portland mall, the Sandy Hook shooting happened.  

I wondered out loud whether these events were aimed at me as a way of intimidation.  Now I realized my thinking is too distorted towards the me-versus-the-devil mentality.  I should think more in terms of synchronicity.  

What is synchronicity?  I think it is an acknowledgment that we are in synch and thus is an integral part of the universe.  So when I notice any current events correlating events in my life, it merely indicate that my awareness has risen to a level that resonate more and more with the reality in which we exist.  

So, those events were not directed at me, but the synchronicities also indicate that I am integral part of it, as with many others.  My awareness/attention has risen to the point that I can notice the connections.  

With that understanding, I think events that's catalysts to all should be viewed this way.  A catalytic event is bound to happened as the result of the state of our social complex on earth today.  But how the catalytic event should manifest itself, e.g. when, where, who, etc., are influenced by each one of us.  We all can leave an imprint on the event, some more, some less, some may be observable to oneself or others.  So the tragedy happened at a running event, not as a direct response to my taking up running and writing about it, but an acknowledgement of my increased synchronicity with the vibrations of reality. It can be viewed as an ACK of my part in co-creating the reality.  

So instead of drawing any evil intent from an incident, it is best to simply be grateful for the opportunity to be part of it, and learn to let my orientation and desire play a bigger part in future manifestations.  Even though the events are not what I would have desired, recognizing my part in it is a first step in taking active role in co-creating our reality.

Now, let me re-examine the synchronicities I named in the previous post:

1. The two major shootings in '12 are all named after the places I've been in '11.  I stayed in a hotel probably about 10min from the Aurora site in the summer of '11; and visited the beach of other well known Sandy Hook in NJ. 

An acknowledgement of my risen awareness/vibration.

2. The shooting in OR happened in the city where my fellow study partner of law-of-one lived.
An acknowledgement of my (and maybe my friend's) risen awareness/vibration.

3. Sandy Hook shooting happened the day after I (not even publicly!) commented on the OR shooting to a couple of friends.

A stronger acknowledgement of my risen awareness/vibration.

4. The Boston marathon bomb happened 1 week after I commented on my 10K race in this blog as a way to show how to apply what is learned -- from the law of one and other high vibe sources -- with regard to fear, as I was getting pumped up preparing for my first marathon event, a 1/2 marathon in a few weeks.
A stronger acknowledgement of my risen awareness/vibration.

5. This video showed that the first bomb went off just before the finish line at the side of the road  that was lined up with flags of different nations.  The bomb went off right between a lamp post and a tree, and as the camera panned close to the bomb location, at 0:33, you can see clearly the Singapore flag (top half red, bottom half white with crescent moon and stars at upper left corner) right next to where the bomb went off.  

"If it's that much about you, then you're co-creating it."  -- I think this is what I should take away from this synchronicity.  Sure, it may also serve other intimidating purpose for someone else (see my original rant at the bottom of this post -- sorry, don't kwow how to put a link here with blogger), but I almost ignored the most positive learning aspect of this experience for me.  I always had difficult fully grasp the meaning of "see the self and the other self as creator".  I've used it as way to reshape my thinking: if I can see myself as creator, then... then I know I am as powerful as the any other, I need not fear... etc. etc.  But why can't I consider what I observed here an evidence of my role in the co-creation?  I don't see any reason why not other than that we just can't -- not willing to -- see it.  But why?  One reason is of course that if I claim to be a person of positive polarity, how could I co-create something so negative?  Well, I'd like to think that my part in co-creating it has made it less negative than it could be.
Thanks :-)  I will use this opportunity to see myself and other selves as co-creators.  Just like through mindful meditation, I'm learning to do with my mind than just to think, I'm taking a step to see who I am instead of just to think about it.  :)

6.  At 0:50 in the above video you can see the official race clock being 4hr 9min something at the time of the first bombing.  It is within 1min of the best marathon finish time of other runners in the family. 

same as above.  

7.  The m-w word of the day (that I receive daily) for April 15th is Heinous, arrived at the beginning of the day before the bombing.  A word used by Obama later to describe the bombing.  
I see this as more positive oriented effort to ACK all who are aware enough to know that there is no such thing as coincidence.

8.  Last but not least -- this was not in the previous post since it arrived after I wrote it -- the third victim is a female Chinese graduate student -- how I would be identified as not so many years ago.  

I don't see myself as the sole target of this ACK, it is for millions of Chinese out there.  It brings the catalyst closer to them all.  

My old rant on synchronicity #5

I feel in this case, my raised awareness lead me to notice this connection, but it's not the main purpose of this "coincidence".   It is likely a negatively oriented effort as a show of strength to those entities who are in the known but are enslaved under the negative polarization.   There are many flags in the vicinity, one which I recognize is the one of South Africa, which had a famous runner in the news not long ago.  Just like in other negative dominate events that draw national/international attentions, these negative events try to re-enforce the idea that the darkness is in power, in control of events.  It is especially important for them to target those working directly under the negative entity with full awareness, yet unable to free themselves due to fear.   The negative entities never miss a chance to reinforce the sense of terror:   Why?  so they can terrorize those are forced to work for them into further submission.  

"Conspiracy theorists" (CTs) love to point out how the negative entities are in control of these events and the resulted negative outcome.  But there is an important point they often miss -- that all events serve a mixture of positive and negative purposes in nature, the ultimate purpose these events serve is determined by us.  CTs often unintentionally propagate the terror that the negative entities intent to generate.  They spread (sometimes through negative entities masquerade as CTs) the image that negative entities being totally in control and we are helpless in changing it.  But what we should truly realize is that other than using fear and terror, the negative entities are powerless.  They are no more powerful than we are, fear and terror are just about all in their bag of tricks.  At this time nexus, they have a slight advantage because of the years (in thousands) of deceit and manipulation of the mind they've done to the population.  But even they know, their empire is but a house of cards, when people start to abandon fear and take control over their free wills, there's nothing they can do to stop it.  

They are scared, so they are using fear and terror over and over to prolong their control.   CTs should realize that recognizing their role in those events should not be a recognition of their power, but a recognition of the their powerlessness.  The recognition itself is a proof of their weakness, a first step in tearing down their control of our reality.  

Sunday, 21 April 2013

Manifestation -- the printer

In the morning, after sending my parents off, knowing that they took the color printer back with them, I thought it would be nice if we just have a color printer ourselves.  "We should get one, not necessarily a new one, a used one will suffice.  I wish I will see someone selling an used one soon."

Then in the afternoon, got an email sent to a group asking if anyone wants a color printer that they no longer needed for free.  I was the first one to respond and got it. :-)  Hmmm, now I just need to pay attention and learn the means to get my wish to manifest on demand.  :-)

(is it what "hack the program" means? ;-)

Note: I noticed that happened when I'm next to the bottom in my 18-day cycle, so it is probably not a result of any great effort in my part, but just a higher form of synchronicity.  A pat on the back, a nod of approval.  Thank you guys.  Namaste.  :-)


April 14, Sunday
waking up early morning of 14th and knew I had a dream.  Not sure what the dream was about, just remembered that there is a conclusion of earth quake happening next week in CA.  A quake on the 6 and up in Richter scale.

premonition, some fear-based stuff, or just nonsense.  we will see...

April 22, Monday
Luckily I wrote down above right after I woke up, because afterwards I could hardly recall it.  When I wrote it down, "next week" meant after one week of time to me, so it'd be this week starting today.  However, the past week was quite eventful as well, let's write it down.
(all times are local)
April 15.  Boston Marathon bombing.  3 deaths, 100s injuried.
April 16. 7.8 earthquake in Iran (FWH claims they HAARPed it)
April 17. 6.8 earthquake in Papua New Guinea.
April 17. West, TX fertilizer plant explosion (registered 2.1 on the Richter scale) near Waco, scores dead.  (A fertilizer plant exploded like a nuclear bomb, of course FWH claims it's not what it seems ;-)
April 18. 7.0 earthquake in Japan
April 18.  One Boston bombing suspect killed.
April 19.  The other bombing suspect captured, in hospital in custody.
April 20. 7.0 earthquake in Sichuan, China.  100+ deaths.
April 21.  5.9 earthquake in western Mexico.

Now let's see what will happen this coming week...

April 29, Monday

Nothing so earth shaking happened last week ;-|.  I guess my dream was referring to the week following the dream and the location I remembered must not be accurate: maybe the whole earth was CA to me... :-p

Thursday, 11 April 2013

Insight (or is it hypothesis?) on Meditation

From last week's meditation session, something clicked.

I'm struggling with just exactly what is the meditative state that we are supposed to reach with meditation.  No one seem to have a precise answer.  The instructor said there's no failure, as long as you tried, it's all good.

But one thing caught my attention.  While we were meditating, there were especially loud noises coming from the gym next door.  Afterwards when we talked about it, many mentioned how distracting that noise was.  But I didn't find the noise distracting at all.  I can hear the noise, just chose not to pay attention to it.  The instructor seemed to think that was good, not being distracted.  But being oblivious to my surroundings seemed to come easy to me.  I've been referred as the "space cadet" and probably the "absent-minded professor" type.  Isn't being mindful supposed to bring your attention to your surroundings?  I guess there is a difference between aware of something while not letting it bother you and not aware something is happening at all.  But there seems to be a fine line between these two...

Since during our meditation sessions, we tried focus on different things, usually starting with the breadth.  I asked the instructor can we just focus on a single thought?  I have thought that maybe when I was in deep thought of one thing, I was achieving the same state as during meditation when my attention is focused only on one thing.  He said no, the goal is not to have thoughts.  Then it suddenly became clear to me.  This must be (maybe ;) it:

Our mind is capable of doing many things.  Or maybe just two: thinking is one, perceiving is another, aka paying attention.  Reasoning, daydreaming, etc. probably can be grouped into one or the other.

I was always confused about how to empty one's mind in order to meditate, for it seemed impossible for me not to have my mind be doing something.  But now it becomes clear: clearing/emptying one's mind means to free one's mind from thoughts, it doesn't mean that your mind has to go into some suspended state, that your mind is stopped from working.  The modern life style has inundated our minds with thoughts, and thinking has become the dominate thing that our minds do.   Meditation is about stopping/slowing this overused function of thinking, while strengthen other functions of the mind.

It seems the simplest/easiest way to stop the thoughts is to use/strengthen the function of perceiving.  It wasn't obvious to me before, but now I can see that perceiving must be different from thinking.  You need the awareness of the mind to pay attention, you/one could perceive/pay attention without generating thoughts to accompany this activity.  Our sensory organs receive/generate inputs, we use our minds to perceive them.

The mind is also capable of doing more than one thing at a time, meditating is to let the one function, paying attention, to be the one thing performed by the mind, or to overwhelm/dominate all the other functions/senses of the mind.

But why, what's the benefit of doing that?  I think
1.  It gives the mind a chance to rest.  The mind was filled with the chatters of thoughts like in a busy urban street, meditation/excise of focused attention puts the mind in the peaceful country side.
I think that's why people find meditation has the effect of releasing stress and removing negative emotions such as depression, anger, frustration, etc. from the daily lives.

However, perhaps more importantly,
2. after meditation put our minds in that quite spot of serenity, the mind is freed to perceive more.  More of what?  More of what we don't usually realize that we can perceive, more from the place where inspiration and intuition come from.  And this is what I hope to achieve with meditation.

In the book "Yoga - yoga, tantra and mediation in daily life" by Swami Janakananda, this is called "going deeper", going deeper inside oneself, into one's mind.  I believe this is the same as the meaning of reaching a higher vibration in other context, getting "high".

Normally, there is a very narrow opening or narrow band through which we can get in touch with higher vibrations, such as opening a gate way to the spiritual energy field or intelligent infinity (to use Ra's term).  I believe meditation helps widens this opening/bandwidth.  According to Swami Janakananda, this meditative state of mind is a quite state between being awake and falling asleep.  The key is to hold your mind there without falling asleep.

I believe this meditative state that connects us to higher frequencies is also what being "in the present" is about.    I was never sure what being in the present/living in the now means.  But apparently thrill seeking is in fact a form of living in the present.  Thus I conclude that putting the mind in such as state where perceiving dominates thinking is trying to reach the same state as meditation.
It is also said that when we see something grandiose for the first time -- such as seeing the grand canyon for the first time -- that overwhelming sense of wonder we experience is also living in the present.  It seems to be this state that some people can achieve though meditation as well.

Meditation seem to be training our mind to tune to the access frequency of the intelligent infinity.  Either it can focus the mind or create/widen the opening.  Ra said drugs can create an opening to the spiritual energy field, but in a uncontrolled way which can negatively affect a person (6.1).  Apparently marijuana can help some people reach the higher frequencies in a more controlled manner.

Here's my hypothesis of how meditation works using the analogy of radio tuning.  Usually our mind is either tuned to the noisy FM95 with thoughts blaring left and right, or the sleepy FM92 when we sleep.  The mind is like a wave itself, operating within a frequency range.  When it is at the noisy thoughtful range of 95, it actually modulates the frequency 94-96.  When it operates at the sleepy frequency of 92, it actually modulates the frequency 91-93.  Therefore we may refer these state of mind as broadband.

But there are intricate and faint broadcast that our mind can receive/perceive at the narrow band of 93-94, which we usually pass quickly when turning our dials from one state to another.  Meditation is like moving slowly of the dial in the area between 93-94, or narrowing our operating frequency to that range.  

When operating at that range, we generally experience silence, which can be soothing and healing to our mind.  But there are also narrow frequencies, something precise like 93.75, where we can reach/perceive/assess the spiritual energy/intelligent infinity, if we were able to tune our mind to stay close to that frequency.  

To me, if this understanding is correct, it will help me focus my intent when I meditate.   Right now my mind seems to have trouble holding steady in the full attention state, slipping to and from thoughtful to sleepy state without being able to pause in the middle.

There are probably more complexity to the mind, for example, our mind seems to have at least two components that can operate simultaneously: that we can perceive/observe our thoughts while we are thinking.   I'm probably only skimming the surface.  I will write more when I gain some better insights. 

Monday, 8 April 2013

The 10K race

I had the timing planned.

The race starts at 7:00am, and we were asked to be at the race venue by 6:20am.  I would leave around 5:30am, drive to MRT, take the train to reach City Hall in 20-30min.  Walking from City Hall to the race venue takes about 8min; could wait up to 30min to get my bag checked in.  Then a 800m walk to the starting point.  Should be timed just right.

Woke up at 5:15ish, but by 5:30am, not quite ready to leave yet.  Mental note to self: no need to worry, there is no reason for this day not to be perfect, many factors later will compensate any appearance tardiness at the moment.

A smooth drive to the MRT station as planned.  Got there 5:55am.  But the doors were closed.  I assumed the train runs 24hrs, guess I was wrong.  Looked at the time table: the first train on Sunday starts at 6:15am and won't reach the station till 6:37am, so can't wait here for the train.  Mental note to self: how interesting, let's what the Universe has planned for me ;-)

Got back into the car, decide to drive to as close to the race venue as possible, then walk over.  Not sure how to get there, since I haven't planned on driving at all.  Just put in GPS a location I thought was close and drove.  GPS took me through the winding streets in the city.  Finally the destination seemed to be in sight: I could see the Big Wheel.  Then a road closure (due to the race) forced me to take an exit that lead me to the speed way heading out of the city.  [mental note to self: an opportunity for worries and doubts -- let's not to use it ;-]  After looping around 1/2 the city, I was back on the same road I was on.  This time I decided to put the casino that's nearby the race venue as the destination -- I bet they won't close any road to the casino ;).  Half following the GPS, half my intuition, I ended up right next to the race venue.

Taking a turn instead of following the GPS to the casino, and hoping there is a parking place nearby, I found the parking garage right next to the race.  Well, it's so close there is no need to store the baggage, just left it in the car.

Saw a fellow runner walking out of the garage: "Are we late?" "No." she said.  Took the 800m walk to the starting point, still had about 10min before the race actually started.  Perfect! :-)

I think it's right before the race was about to start, I realized that in the hurry to get to the starting point, I probably forgot to lock the car.  Then I thought: an unlocked car does not automatically imply it will be robbed.  Is there any reason for some type of catalytic event to happen via the opportunity of an unlocked car?  I don't see any, so there is no need to worry -- if I indeed left it unlocked, nothing would come out of it.

Steady pace throughout the race, uneventful.  At 2km, I checked my watch.  I was running at 1km/7min pace.  If I can keep it up, I'd finish around 1:10, better than my last race time (and the personal best) of 1:16.  I wanted a better finish, and I saw no reason I shouldn't.  I decided not to check my watch again.

The alarm on my watch went off.  I knew it's set for 8:00am, which meant that I've been running for close to an hour, and that the finish must be close. :)  Shortly afterwards I saw the 8km mark.  When I saw the finish line (arch) -- there's about 50m left -- I broke out in a sprint.  Clicked my watch as I past the finish line.  The time?  1:11:01

The perfect finish to an perfect race -- why should I have expected anything different?

When I got back to the car, it was indeed unlocked -- and nothing happened because of it just as I expected.  :-)

Phase I: Abandon Fear

Noticed recently I'm being presented with bigger challenges -- events that provides opportunity to test out what I've learned from the law of one.  I guess enough of just the nicities such as synchronizations (still getting them everyday :-), time to take action that can make a difference.  I guess I must be ready for it.  :-)

So far I notices two major themes (if you can call it that) that I've been tested on.
1.  Whether I can live in the presence, believe and not give in to fear
2. Whether I can deal with problem with the new mind set of integrity, with love, forgiveness, and trust, instead of fear, suspicion, and combativeness.

I think I still needs lot of work on the 2nd one.  

Tuesday, 26 March 2013


NAMERootSacralSolar PlexusHeart
REPRESENTATION OFThe physical bodyRelationship of self to others on a individual basisRelationship of self to others on a social/group basesUniversal and unconditional love and compassion
FUNCTIONSurvivalSexuality,Creativity,pleasureWill,personal powerLove
DESIRESPhysical contactRespect and acceptanceTo understandTo love and be loved
CHALLENGETo think before actingTo love and serve othersTo communicate effectively with loved onesTo gain confidence

REPRESENTATION OFCommunicationApproximity to the higher selfActualization
FUNCTIONCommunication,creativityIntuition,thought,perceptionUnion with the divine
GLANDSThyroid and parathyroidPituitaryPineal
PETALSSixteenNinety sixNine hundred and seventy two
DESIRESInner peaceTo be in harmony with the universeUniversal understanding
CHALLENGETo riskTo turn one's dreams into realityTo grow in knowledge and wisdom

CHARACTERoutgoing,energetic, expressiverigid,stubborn,tenaciousadaptable,able to adjust to changing circumstances

Based on The Complete Book of Auras by Richard Webster. Edited from my own learning

Monday, 25 March 2013

A New Hope

This may not be of any significance, but I just noticed that the first Star Wars movie was out in 1977, and the title was "A New Hope" ;-)

Sunday, 3 March 2013


Today maybe the day I didn't notice any synchs (can't quite remember).  Wrapped with weekend activities, didn't have a chance for any of my high vibe routines.  Woke up next morning remembering a very wired dream: something to do with Easter, maybe an earthquake of some sort, and other things.  I wished some experience in the dream state, ended with something I preferred not to have.  I guess I will be satisfied with no dreams for now.

This year I started to notice contrails in the sky that I haven't noticed before.  Now I see at least one everyday, and sometimes two at the same time...

Thursday, 28 February 2013

Wisdom from I Ching

Lately something drew my attention to I Ching.  Who needs western esoteric teachings that draped in secrecy when you have eastern book of wisdom right at hand? ;-)  Got a book on I Ching by Wu Wei (is his name really 无为?).  A list of I Ching sayings that the author gave his interpretation.  To me most of the wisdom is nothing new, but there a few that's are especially relevant/resonate I copied down:

People of true understanding nourish sages and through them, nourish the whole world.

When two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze.

Natural law is easy to follow because it operates along the path of least resistance.

It is who we think we are who speaks and acts -- not who we are.

Everything clings to that which gives it life.  

Rest must follow activity if energy is to be renewed.

Universal law provides that everything changes except Universal law.

Catastrophe is a Universal tap on the shoulder.  
-- (from the author:) The wisest person feels reverence at those times and examines his life to see if his affairs are in order and if he is living the life of the superior person.  That is the great value of those events.

Great and difficult goals are accomplished in simple, easy steps.  

Events are the language of the Universe.

He sets limitations for himself within which he experiences complete freedom.

He sees opposition as a signpost deflecting him in the right direction.

Only through daily self-renewal of character can you continue at the height of your powers.

I Ching talks about the superior person, which I think is the equivalent of the "adept" that Ra speaks of in Law of One.  It is the person I strive to be.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013


Bottom of the cycle and a full moon (!)  The day started out kinda low.  tt woke up way early in the morning for seeming no reason.  didn't feel particularly inspired.  But things got better, I think I got all the synchs from 1s to 5s.  I did notice I seem to get more of them when I'm in lower position of the cycle.  I love when my kids help out with my synchs: "mom, what time is it?" "why, it's 4:44" "hey mom, it's my favorite time 5:55" :-)

Got a book on I Ching.  Who need the esoteric western mystic stuff when there's the thousands year old Chinese knowledge right at hand? ;-)  Unfortunately none of it was passed on to me through my education.  Just more things to learn :-)

Sunday, 24 February 2013

Bottom of the cycle

I'm one day away from the bottom of the 18-day cycle.  I notice like last time when I was around the bottom, I feel hungry a lot, start to have a really big appetite.  I think it must be that when my natural ability to raise my vibrations are low, I need much more energy to do the work of reaching to higher levels...

Thursday, 14 February 2013


To start the morning, from the car clock display time of who-knows-where: 5:55.  Later on 11:11, 1:11, 2:22, ... I'm going to stop logging these synchs, may just note when they are absent.  I also start noticing other type of synch.. ;-)
A few days ago I pointed out a comment to me was posted a 5:55 my time, and later asked when would the person notice such synchs.  Today when the person plus'ed my g+ post, I realized my post was displayed at 5:55 his time.  (not sure if he noticed though :)

Had a long night of sleep, 9 hours.  Just what I needed.  :-)


Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Saturday, 9 February 2013

The day before the year of snake

My right heel felt bruised, it really hurts when I put weight on it, cannot really walk bare foot on that foot anymore.  I wonder what is the mind/spirit working that resulted in this physical manifestation?  Have I been preaching too much of my right-handed ways?  I guess it feels more like a sharp edged rock I've been stumping on, reminded me of Ra's expression "We have come up against the full stop of free will."  Maybe it's an indication that I haven't been effective in my workings and I need to do something different to make progress.

Speaking of stumping on rocks, I did have to stump really hard to remove that old piece of tree stump a couple of days ago.  Maybe I kicked it more than I thought I did and really hurt my heel...

synchs of the day 11:11, 2:22, and 5:55 :-)

New year's eve activities in the evening reminded me all the good things I love about this life, and tears along with it.  I'm feeling pensive.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

instance of synchronicity

It's probably not terribly important, but today I noticed 4:44 and 5:55. :-)

Monday, 4 February 2013

Passages and Mantras for Meditation

From Conquest of Mind:

1. Opening of Buddha's Twin Verses.  Taken from Dhammapada: 

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts.  Those whose minds are shaped by selfish thoughts cause misery when they speak or act.  Sorrow roll over them like the wheels of a cart follow the hooves of the bullock that draws it.  

All that we are is the result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts.  Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act.  Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them. "

2. Prayer from Saint Francis of Assisi.

"Dear God, make me the instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
Where there is sadness, joy."

"O Divine Maters, grant me that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love.  
For that it's in giving that we receive
It is in forgiving that we are forgiven
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

From Joe's video:

3. Protection prayer
"Mighty God surrounds me, love of God enfolds me, power of Gold protects me, presence of God watches over me, where ever I am, God is, and always will."

4. The Lord's prayer

"Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done, here on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespassed against us;
lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

5. "God, give ___ my/his/her own unconditional love"

6. Hoʻoponopono
"I'm sorry, I love you, forgive me, thank you"

From this video and "Yoga - yoga, tantra and mediation in daily life" by Swami Janakananda

7. Mantra for Chakra cleansing, from bottom to top

Friday, 25 January 2013


I noticed in addition to just become awake in the middle of night when something I'm interested to see is posted on g+, my children have been serving as the medium for this wake up service as well.  My son GG has started sleeping by himself no for too long.  Some days he'd sleep through the night, some days he'd come in our room in the middle of night.  There doesn't seem to be an obvious reason why he'd wake up some day and not the other.  I noticed that he actually served the purpose of waking me up at night.

The last couple of night he slept through the night, and indeed, there was nothing online that needed my attention.  But I wondered, could it all be just random/coincidental?  Then last night I noticed he came to our room without waking me up; and there was nothing posted that I needed to see.  To me it was the confirmation that my suspicion is right, that his waking up, especially done in such a way to wake me up, is to be of service to me.

But who initiated the request for this service?  Was is myself or the person who wanted my attention?  I think it works like this in two ways: if it's something I'm interested to know, when my higher self notice that, they will use the available medium to wake me up/notify me.  If it's something someone else wanted my attention, and if my higher self agrees, I will be notified as well.  Either way my higher self is involved, since free will is observed.