Seven Reminders for Beginners

This is modified from a conversation I had with a friend. By "beginners," I mean those who have begun to realize that we are more than just our bodies and have embarked on a journey to discover who we are and why we are here. These reminders are for those of us who sense that something is not quite right in the world and feel the desire to change it. I consider myself a beginner.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step—but at the start, it can be difficult to move forward with confidence. It often seems that just as we try to elevate ourselves, something in the daily grind pulls us back down. I want to share these reminders because I have found them incredibly useful, and I hope they will be helpful to others as well.

I call them reminders because these practices (if you can call them that) are probably not new to us, yet carrying them out consistently and continuously can be challenging. It is easy to slip back into old habits. So, do not fret—be mindful, remember these seven points, and carry on... :-)

1. Let Go of Judgment

Do not judge yourself or others—but how?

Take things as they are without assigning judgment. For example, you might notice, "I do not like loud people." That is simply a description of your personal state. However, if you say, "Loud people are obnoxious" (rather than "Loud people are obnoxious to me"), you are passing judgment. No one is inherently defined by the judgments we place upon them; they only appear that way to us under certain circumstances. Therefore, it is useful to be mindful of what we feel and to understand why we feel a certain way, without categorizing ourselves or others based on those feelings.

Another example: Suppose there is a book that many people find life-changing, and they praise it highly. You read it, but it does nothing for you. We are so conditioned to immediately assign judgment—"There must be something wrong with me!" (or the opposite, "This book is overrated."). But instead of judging, simply acknowledge the fact: "This book does not resonate with me." If you notice an undesirable thought or action within yourself, recognize it, stop it, but do so without passing judgment on yourself for having thought or acted that way in the first place.

Nothing is one-size-fits-all. If something works for everyone but not for you, it simply means it is not for you. There is no point in judging yourself or others over it. (If you want it to work for you, you can ask, seek, or learn—but that is another topic.)

Letting go of judgment is not something we are typically taught, so changing this habit can be difficult at first. However, if you can stop judging yourself, it becomes much easier to stop judging others as well.

2. Let Go of Fear (and Worry)

This is about reclaiming our free will. If you understand that all is mind and that our experiences are often the direct result of our thoughts, then you can see how fear and worry can give permission to the very things we wish to avoid. When we fear something, we acknowledge it as a real possibility, which gives it power over us. However, fear is unnecessary once we recognize that we are not here to suffer, to be punished, or to redeem our sins. We are here to learn, and learning is not meant to be fearful.

I like the quote: "Danger is real, but fear is a choice." It is important to recognize danger, but that does not mean we must respond with fear. For example, if winter is approaching and firewood is your only source of heat, you must recognize the danger of not having enough firewood. But recognizing danger does not require fear—it requires action. The universe may not magically provide firewood without any effort on your part (perhaps because the act of gathering firewood solidifies your intention and desire for warmth). So, take action to collect firewood without anxious thoughts like, "Will I have enough time to gather what I need?" or "What if I can’t find enough?" or "What if the winter is extremely cold?" Instead, trust that your efforts will yield just the right amount for you to stay warm. (If you’d like to experiment, try applying this mindset to something you usually worry about 😉).

A friend once asked me a question that highlights an important point:

"Even when I know not to fear or worry, I still find myself considering worst-case scenarios. Then I think I’ve just allowed something bad to happen, which makes me judge myself, feel more fear, and spiral into even more negative thoughts…"

Here’s what I understand: This is why mindfulness is essential. Fear and worry only have the power to manifest what we fear if we are unaware that we are doing it. The moment we recognize our thoughts as fear-based, we consciously state them as something we do not want. Worrying about the fact that you had a fearful thought can actually negate the power of recognizing it.

So, how do we break free from these tedious negative thought cycles? From what I’ve read, the key is not to suppress, hide, or deny them. Instead, accept them. The mind is curious—it wants to explore and experience. Bring your thoughts fully into awareness, allow yourself to process them, and once your mind has satisfied its curiosity, those thoughts will naturally fade away.

Here’s a quote from a yogi that beautifully expresses this idea:

"Whatever you experience, you acknowledge and use in the process of realization, rather than avoiding it through control and restraint. This approach is of fundamental importance in Tantra – in its practices, rituals and meditations. It is not a question of taking severe measures, but of being aware and present in what is anyway done, thought and experienced. In a devoted and yet neutral way you let happen what happens, without reacting or struggling against it – and without giving up or letting yourself be overwhelmed by or dependent upon anything."

The key takeaway? When facing anything in life, choose acceptance over control. (This is quite the opposite of what we’ve been taught, which is why it can be challenging at first.)

To summarize: Be mindful of your thoughts. Recognize fear-based ones and deny the fearful outcome, but do not fear negative thoughts themselves. Allow yourself to experience them—both in your mind and, perhaps, even in reality.

3. Forgive (Yourself and Others)

Most of us understand the importance of forgiveness. Love and forgiveness are what elevate us to higher vibrations. When it comes to self-forgiveness, I see it as closely tied to letting go of judgment. If we stop judging ourselves and others, forgiveness becomes easier—because, ultimately, there is nothing to forgive.

4. Give Thanksgiving

It is essential to appreciate what you have and be grateful for each moment. I have always naturally felt gratitude for the things in my life, even before I believed in a higher power. I can't fully explain why it is important—I just know that it is.

Here’s how I see it: We are surrounded by friends in higher places who want to help us. However, just as we cannot see them, they may not always know whether their efforts to assist us are effective. Their only form of feedback comes through our gratitude—our appreciation for the outcomes created with their help. Acknowledging and giving thanks for a desired result acts as positive feedback, reinforcing our connection and strengthening our will.

5. Live in the Moment (in the Now)

What does it mean? I initially had a hard time understanding this concept. It's easier to grasp why we shouldn't dwell in the past—whether it's past glory or mistakes—but what about planning for the future? We can plan for the future without living in trepidation about it.

This idea is closely related to letting go of fear. In the present moment, there is nothing to fear—only actions to take and decisions to make. Fear and worry are about what might happen in the future.

To connect this with the firewood example: when you have time to gather firewood, ask yourself, "Do I need more firewood?" If the answer is yes, then ask, "Can I gather some now?" If yes, then gather it. If no, check on it later. That's all.

By living in the moment in this way, your desired outcome will naturally unfold. There is no reason to fear or worry about what’s to come.

6. "No Mistakes"

There are no mistakes, only lessons. This is easier to understand if we know why we are here: to experience and to learn. We are here to learn not because we are lacking, but because we seek enriching experiences.

I interpret "no mistakes" as follows: Once you set your goal, you will reach it. Even if you take a wrong turn somewhere, it may just lead you down a longer, scenic route—but you will still get there. So, there are no mistakes. We can move forward simply by setting our goals.

My friend pointed out that "no mistakes" is a shortened version of points #1 and #2: If there are no mistakes, then there is no need for judgment, and no need for fear or worry.

7. Believe in and Trust Yourself

This is one of the hardest things to do. We grow up in a world where we are judged from birth and conditioned—implicitly or explicitly—to believe we are what others say we are. Seeing things as they truly are through the practice of #1-6 may help remove these false images of ourselves. I also hope that understanding our true nature will help: we are extensions of the universe, fragments of the ALL, consciousness experiencing itself.

You can think of us as children of the divine—which means we, too, are divine. What many call God in religion is simply the highest form we can evolve into (though perhaps not in this lifetime). This is what is meant by the saying "God is within each of us."

In this 3D physical world, it’s easy to feel insignificant. Undoing years of conditioning from childhood is difficult, and I don’t expect anyone to suddenly become fully self-confident overnight. But you can start by simply setting the intention to become so. Of course, the yourself we speak of here is not the ego self, which are mistaken by many as the self -- this is a important topic for another day.

Reduce the influence of the ego self by following your heart, no matter what external pressures try to tell you otherwise. Pay attention to your heart. You know when something didn’t feel right to you -- trust yourself intuition. We have all done this at some point in overcoming obstacles in life, but trusting yourself shouldn’t be something you turn to only in difficult times—make it a habit.

Believing in yourself doesn’t mean clinging to old beliefs. As you learn and grow, your views will evolve. To believe in yourself means to trust the decisions you make in each moment and to know that whatever you truly want to do, you can do—though perhaps not in the way you originally envisioned. Trusting yourself can be frightening at times, but remember: no fear, no judgment, no mistakes! 

Realize that while we all come from the same source, each of us is also a unique individual. Each of us has our own path. Therefore, do not believe what I say if it doesn’t feel right to you, no matter how good my intentions are. My path may be the path of least resistance for me, but not for you. I believe everyone should follow their own path of least resistance—because that is how nature works.

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This is something I didn't discuss with my friend, so it is extra. I see all seven reminders lead to something perhaps even more important:

Love Yourself (and Others—for You Can't Love One Without the Other)

Loving yourself does not mean being narcissistic or believing you are above others. It means recognizing that each of us is a shining star with our own unique spectrum. This recognition comes from within—it does not need to be validated by outside influences, not by accolades from peers, nor by acknowledgment from society. I believe that when we finally see ourselves without distortion, it becomes impossible not to love ourselves.

For many, including myself, it feels easier to love others than to love ourselves. But we cannot truly love others without loving ourselves. If we cannot embrace ourselves—flaws and imperfections included—then we cannot fully extend that Love to others. To love all beings unconditionally, isn’t that what we are ultimately striving for? 😉

Loving oneself may seem difficult at times, but I believe that if we fully understand and practice the seven reminders, this final step will come naturally.

Last but not least, I see these seven practices as means, not ends. They serve to help us gain a steady footing on our journey. And if you are unsure of what that journey is, trust that you will find out in time. The road may be long, but it is not meant to be miserable—it can be full of magical wonders, if only we allow it to be and learn how to embrace them. 😊

Remembering 9/11

For the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I planned to make a video, a video to memorialize the event.  I wanted to make this video ever since the first 9/11 anniversary, but I lacked the tools to do it.  But for the 10th, I was ready: I secure the software, I even wrote a storyboard earlier in the year: http://goo.gl/vkXa8V

I was set to make the video by 9/11, put it out on YouTube.  I thought it may even go viral, for I felt there must be many people who felt like me and find it resonant.  The video would be my defiant statement to those who perpetrated the 9/11 atrocity and got away with it.

And then, bin Laden was killed mid year.  I was over joyed, I felt like celebrating with those people in New York.  Yes, I believed that he and al-Qaeda were responsible for 9/11. I remember hearing people questioning why he was not brought back and tried, and thinking: he himself admitted to master mind the attack, what's the point of wasting money and time on a trial?  good riddens to him.  I felt justice had been served and was not so motivated to make the video anymore.  I didn't.

What a difference a year makes! After my awakening I realized those who perpetrated 9/11 were still at large. I saw the 2nd plane struck the tower on TV as it happened. To me, NYC is the symbol of resilience for the country, all the time while the towers were burning I believed all would be under control in time and orders restored.  I couldn't believe my eyes when the towers fell. It turned out I was right after all.  The towers wouldn't have fallen by the plane strike alone...I was fooled. On the personal level, I felt that bin Laden was killed earlier '11 just to prevent me from making that video, a video that probably would rally some strong desires in people.

Will I still make that video one day? It seems that as I learn more about truth in life, I would be less attracted to the dualism, combativeness, and anger expressed in the video. On the other hand, I may just make it one day when inspiration strikes.

But I do have a secret wish: I wish one day that I will see the twin towers back again, in the same place, in their full glory, as they were and always will be -- maybe just for one day.  If what I was told were true, that thoughts could build a pyramid out of thin air and move mountains, it'd be a cinch to get the twin towers back.  Yeah, that's the 9/11 memorial I'd truly want to see one day.  :-) 

A Function of Mindful Meditation

Recently, I got to recount to a friend the 7 helpful things I found important to be reminded daily on this journey that I have started not long ago, they are:
1. No judgement
2. No fear
3. Live in the moment
4. Forgive
5. Gratitude
6. "No mistakes"
7. Believe in oneself

As I was explaining to my friend what each of them mean, I realized that all of them are interdependent and supporting of each others; and more importantly, that for me the practice of mindful meditation at this stage is an exercise of applying these seven reminders in daily life.

In mindful meditation, we are told to focus our mind only on our breath and let go other thoughts. When we find our mind wondering off with thoughts, simply notice it and bring it back to the breath, gently and without judgement. Regardless of how well we are in carrying out these instructions, as long as we do it (meditation), it is considered a success; and at the end of the session we give thanks to ourselves and others for the opportunity to meditate.

So for a beginner, each meditating session usually goes like this: you start off with focus on the breadth, then you find the sitting uncomfortable which draws away your attention -- you may struggle with this throughout the session; you find your mind wondering off with other thoughts and had to bring it back; you find yourself falling asleep; you hear noises that draws your attention away; you find yourself getting irritated at not being able to focus for long; etc. etc.  Some days you are better at it, some days not.  You don't feel any immediate benefit, you think this must be just another failed attempt.  But your instructor tells you keep on going, you are doing fine as long as you continue -- but how could it be?

Here's what I realized: to meditate as instructed above and to be able to continue the practice despite all the "failures" mentioned above, one must put the seven points mentioned above in action.

What's better way to pass "no judgement" than in face of "failure"? When you do not judge your session to be a failure, but as what it is, when you don't have fear of never going to do it "right" -- you continue.  Continue focusing on the breadth, which is a form of "living in the moment", for your mind is on each breath, in the "now".  When your mind wonders off, forgive your action instead of judging it.  As the instructor said, as long as you practice meditation, you are doing fine, so there is "no mistakes".  Only in truly knowing so you can be grateful for the opportunity to meditate, and thank yourself for making time to do so.   And last but not least, when one believes in himself, it would not be hard for him to continue meditation without giving it up due to frustration.

Mindfulness doesn't end with meditation.  "Failing" at mindful meditation as beginners gives us the opportunity to practice the 7 important things daily in order to continue.  When we can develop the habit of acting in accordance with the 7 reminders, and extend them to all parts of life -- then we will enter the first step of gaining back control of our free will.

The benefit of mindful meditation doesn't end here, but this is the first step for me.

Case Study: Manifest Desires

 -- when what's desired involves more than one person.

I had everything planned way before the trip: after return from the west coast on Tuesday, rent a car and drive down, spend a couple of days before get packed and drive back the airport then fly out.

Then a few days before heading out west, it was suggested to me that I don't have to get back right away. Suddenly I got a couple of days of free time. It's too late to change flights to return later from the west coast. I could use the opportunity to visit a couple of people nearby instead. I wanted to visit my friend L and tell her all about what I've come to understand in the past year.  It'd great to finally talk to someone about it all in person.  Moreover, I finally felt I had understood enough to give her some tips on how to avoid the stress she experiences in daily life.

So I emailed her: I can visit you on the last week of the month, just for one night, is there a good time for me to come? The reply: maybe on one of the weekends.  I sensed the email that any weekdays, which is the only time I can visit, would be extremely inconvenient.  I pretty much resigned to the fact that I wouldn't get to see her on this trip.

Then just a couple of days before heading west, I decided to give her a call anyway, not so much to work out a plan to see her, but just to say hi.  She told me why it was inconvenient: she had planned far ahead so that out of all the days in a year, for that one week to be alone and stay in her house by herself so she can have some peace and quiet and get away from it all.  And I told her why I wanted to see her: not to catch up and gossip about the daily life, but to tell her about the spiritual understandings I've come to know for the past year, understandings that I feel comfortable to speak about for certain.  Through our conversation, we realized my purpose of seeing her and her goal of getting some alone time actually aligned.

Well, everything turned out to be perfect.  There couldn't have been a better time for me to see her: since she was off work, I got to talk to her from dinner time till 2am, and talked some more the next day until after lunch.  During her regular work day, she'd have to leave to work early in the morning and we would never be able to have the conversations we had.

While we marveled at such a perfect timing, I noted that the meeting happened because we both desired it. But we didn't desire the meeting, the meeting is but the manifestation of the desire.  On my side: I desired to talk to her about what I learned and tell her things I find helpful in daily life; for her: she desired to get away from the daily grind and be more in touch with her inner self, finding deeper understanding in her spiritual pursuit.  Our desires compliment each other and the universe arranged the perfect opportunity for the meeting to happen.

But the meeting almost didn't happen, and I think this is where I can learn a lot by examining why.  I always have a good intuition about people, about how they feel.  And I know this has done me a disservice -- for when I felt people being uncomfortable, I hesitate or feel very uncomfortable to push for my agenda.  But in this case, had I not push for my agenda and call her, something both of us desired would not have happened.

I think I need to realize that sometimes my agenda is also in the best interest of the other party, but it may not be obvious for the other party to see it right away.  In that case the right thing is do is to push for my agenda despite the discomfort I feel from the other party.  I plan to apply what I learned here when I see fit in the future, start with doing a bit more information exchange with the other party, just like in this case, and see if such perfect opportunity will come by more and more.  :-)

A New Phase

I consider myself having been two phases so far:

I.  Recognition/awareness

Noticing synchronicities and finding deeper meaning in ordinary occurrences.

II.  Abandoning Fear

Discussed here.

And now I think I'm entering the third one

III.  Creating Realities :-)

As I am progressing further, it doesn't mean I finished a previous phase and no longer need it.  I find myself also practicing previous phases at ever higher levels.  Learning never ceases! :-)

My Latest View on Meditation

A month ago I wrote about my thoughts on the function of meditation, now I have come to a completely different understanding.

Now I view meditation as a form of mental exercise.  It's the training of the ability we often don't realize we have, the power of our Will - our free will.  I came to this understanding after reading the Kybalion by Three Initiates, an explanation of the ancient Hermetic teachings.  I have come across many principles mentioned in the book from other sources and teachings, but the Principle of Gender I was not familiar with.  It was especially enlightening for me to read the Chapter on Mental Gender.

I have heard the concept of two parts of the mind before, such as the conscious and subconscious mind.  I also read antidotes about mind observing the mind, such as in lucid dreams where one observe himself dreaming (Richard Feynman wrote about it in one of his books).  But after learning about the "me" and "I" mind -- the creating and directing mind -- from Kybalion, I realized I never quite felt these two entities of mind in myself.  Even though I do hold debates in my mind, I always felt quite together.  I always felt there's just one mind directing my actions.  But now I come to know the two minds concept, I'm more aware of the two minds in action.

This bring me to the new understanding of meditation.  As mentioned in the Kybalion, the "I" mind is so rarely used by many, it's often not used at all.  Instead, most of us just let our "me" mind be influenced by outside sources, like prairie grass swinging with the wind.  Thus meditation -- such as mindful meditation, zazen, etc. practiced by monks and alike -- is an excise of the "I" mind.  "I" mind is the generator of the will, the director.  In meditation the "I" mind wills the "me" mind to stop its usually chaotic ways and just pay attention to the breath instead.  The stronger the "I" mind gets in directing its will to the "me" mind, the longer we will be able to keep our attention on the breath.

This is why the instructor is right in saying that if your mind wonders, simply bring it back -- this is not a failure in meditation, this is part of the meditation.  To be aware of the straying of the attention and bringing the attention back is an exercise of the two minds at work.  The "I" mind noticing that the "me" mind not following its direction, and through will bringing it back to the attention to breath.  Having done this repeatedly is like pumping iron, it will strengthen the "muscle" of "I", exactly what the meditation is supposed to provide.

So as mentioned in the previous post on meditation, where I was not distracted by the outside noise, it simply showed that my "I" mind is strong enough to tell my "me" mind not to pay attention to the noise, and the "me" mind followed the will, while others were not so successful in letting the "I" mind direct the "me" mind.

Now I'm not sure if meditation has the effect of elevating one's vibration at all.  My previous analogy about tuning to the radio signal may be completely wrong (or it still could be correct upon further consideration).  Meditation will help us reach higher vibrations, but not through the act of meditation in itself, but through the strengthening of Will (of the "I" mind).  For once we master the use of our Will, what we desire, e.g. reaching higher vibrations, will come to fruition.

This understanding also makes sense of the cryptic statement from the "Zen Mind, Beginning's Mind" book (haven't found the exact quote): if you meditate to attain enlightenment, you will not get enlightenment; if you want to reach enlightenment, you must meditate.  Meditation is not a path to enlightenment in itself, but it can provide the tools and skill for us to reach enlightenment.  :-)

How I saved the Hubble

A few years ago, there were serious talks about dumping the Hubble telescope since it's too old and too costly to maintain.  I was not happy to hear the news.  Knowing how valuable the Hubble was to many scientists, I felt especially bad since I knew many people's careers and research depended on it.  So when the then NASA chief Sean O'Keefe came to give the graduation speech at NPS, I decided to used this opportunity to express how I felt.

At the reception afterwards, I went to shake O'Keefe's hand and said to him "please save the Hubble."  He smiled back at me and said "we are working on it."

And... well, I didn't follow closely on what happened later, all I know is that the Hubble is still working today :-).   Later I jokingly said to a friend that as far as I'm concerned, I saved the Hubble.  Now I realized that statement could be more true than I ever imagined.

I liked O'Keefe, I guess that's why I followed his whereabouts even after he left NASA.  So it brought me great shock and sadness when I heard the news that he and his son was nearly killed in a plane crash in 2010.  Now after becoming aware that everything happen for a reason, I'm sure both the dark side and the light side were involved in the incident  -- I'm just not sure which side was responsible for which...